Bad news is that this may be the end of my season.  In the super final (where the top 4 skiers from the 2nd round battle for podium spots) I felt my knee shift and pop right before the bottom jump.  I crashed right before the bottom jump, and I was in sharp pain.  I remembered that my coach told me the skier before me crashed while I was in the gate.  I also didn’t want to get up because I knew I did something to my knee and there was no way I could make any turns.  After a few seconds (which felt like about 2 minutes), I got up on my left leg and finished the course.   I immediately waved for help, and got helped out of the finish area.  They put me in a chair, notified that I couldn’t do worse than 3rd.  I didn’t care.. I was so pissed off that this happened again.  I was overwhelmed by anger and sadness.  Coming off knee surgery just two years ago, and I’m having the season of my life.. and I possibly blew my knee out again.  I couldn’t hold back tears as I thought about the road to get from my last knee surgery.  I spent 9 months of rehab, one really shitty World Cup season, and this offseason preparing to get back to where I am now.  Having a  great season up to this point, and going all the way back to knee surgery just sucks.. bad.

My biggest concern is that if surgery is needed, doing my rehab in Park City would almost be a requirement.  I moved all my belongings into a storage unit this fall.  I would have to find a place to stay for a few months in Park City.  If anyone reading this has room for me in Park City, and would let me stay, that would be wonderful.  Of course, the MRI on Monday could come back and show minor stuff, but I’m in a lot of pain and not too optimistic.  Also, I’m really worried about my potential medical bills.  Last time, it totaled to about $1,700.  I know it’s not much for the work that’s being done, but it just doesn’t seem fair that I’m stuck with the medical bills.  Maybe it makes sense for me to pay it, but it’s my honest opinion.  Maybe they’ll give me a 2 for 1 deal

I did already have an idea in mind to help with the bills.  Not sure how much I want to give away now, but a friend has offered to help me get into something I’ve wanted to do for a while.  In return, I hope I can bring some exposure to his company.  There are not many elite athletes that are in this industry, so we’re hoping that this collaboration can benefit both sides.  I will keep you posted as we move along on this project, because everyone can help us with very little time and effort.

Anyway, times like these really show me that my teammates genuinely care about me.  It’s an individual sport, but they all went out of their way to see how I was doing or say some kind words.  We’ve all been through similar setbacks, and know exactly what we need to be picked back up.  Also, we have the best PTs and doctors on tour.  Big thanks to Doug Flint, Phil Arnold, and Jess Tidswell.  Big thanks to my family, friends, and fans.  I wouldn’t have had the courage or drive to make the first comeback.  I know I’ll have plenty to drive me though my second, if needed.  We’ll find out Monday!

morning of January 21, 2012

The last couple weeks have been brutal in the East coast.  We’ve been in negative temperatures for the majority of those days, and it’s nice being back in Tahoe.  I have about 3 days here, then we’re all off to Calgary for the next stop.  The rest of the tour has us going to Deer Valley, China, Japan, (10 day break), Sweden, France, then Vermont for National Championships.  10 more events in 7 venues before April.

One thing to get off my chest before I get into the past competitions.  I am leaning towards not doing any interviews BEFORE the competition.  I had an absolutely terrible interview the night before Lake Placid.  If it airs on TV, and it sounds totally fabricated, it’s because it is!  I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I was becoming frustrated and wasn’t thinking straight.  The first thing they wanted me to do was whore out for the event sponsors.  None of my answers were “good enough”.  I was told do to multiple takes over the same answer, sometimes told what to say.

In a usual World Cup, all I have to do is arrive, train, and compete.  If I get a podium, then I’ll get a chance to do an interview about my skiing and the competition.  When we do a World Cup in the US, it is different with media wanting to do these interviews.  I don’t want to treat it any differently than any other World Cup.  If I do my job, and end up on the podium, then I’ll do my interview.  With that said, I am supposed to do an “athlete profile” in a week or so.  Those are okay, because they just follow you around for a few hours and watch what you do.  It will most likely be in the gym, I am not going to stray from my usual routine.

Back to skiing, I spent more time on the road in January than normal.  I took off for Quebec on December 29, my team arrived on January 11th.  Most of it was to spend New Year’s with Audrey, but we departed to Val St-Come to train for the next World Cup.  The plan was to ski January 4-9.  What I didn’t know was that they were going to double charge me to train on their mountain.  A $45 ticket with a $55 training fee on top of that.  I didn’t want to pay $100 to train for 2-3 hours per day.  So I ended up just using the gym from the 4th-7th.  The problem with the gym is that it’s at the bottom of the course, and there are big windows facing the course.  During my workouts, I would see the Canadians training the course.  I felt like the trouble maker kid in elementary school that was in timeout and had to look out the window to watch all the other kids playing in recess.  Those four days were not so fun for me, but I did get to train the 8th and 9th.  My jumps came back quickly and I felt ready for the Mont Gabriel World Cup.

Gabriel was another good result for me.  I finished in 4th place, but I was frustrated.  My focus was impaired and affected my ability to finish my job.  I was thinking about how cool it would be if two male Americans were on the podium (which WILL happen at some point this year).  It’s been over a year since that happened.  My teammate Jeremy Cota was guaranteed a podium because he was in the championship round for 1st and 2nd.  All I had to do was beat a Russian to grab 3rd place and join Cota on the podium.  I didn’t even make it 5 seconds without making a critical mistake.  I almost crashed my back-full on the top air.  I was even more frustrated when I watched the video.  The Russian only threw a 360 (a much easier jump).  I blew a shot at my 3rd podium in a row.

We’re now completed with one-third of the season.  So far, most of it has felt great, but my last result was as bad as the Nintendo Gamecube.  Just when I felt like I was hitting my groove with consistency, I made another big mistake in my qualifications run in Lake Placid.  Training had gone so well, and I had to blow it in the only run that mattered.  My goal was to make the cut for finals in every event and not finish outside the top 10.  After the run, I was so frustrated and the feelings I had last year when I had a bad event came back.  It didn’t matter that I had 3 good results prior to this, it hurt just as bad.  In the 90 minutes between my awful run to going back outside to spectate the finals, I thought about the big picture of this sport.  There is no room for error, ever.  I played in an adult baseball league this fall, just for fun.  I hadn’t played baseball since my high school days, and it was a nice change of pace.  Hitting safely in 3/10 at bats is considered successful.  In mogul skiing, one mistake in a run can mean the difference between a top 5 and 30th place.

I mentioned that there will be multiple male Americans on the podium soon, we’ve had three close calls already.  In those events, we’ve gone 3rd/4th, 2nd/4th, and 2nd/4th.  We’re so close!  Also, we have a few skiers on the male side that haven’t had the results they are capable of because of small mistakes mentioned above.  I have faith that they will be where they deserve to be.  It’s a long season and we will have the best year that American men have had in a long time.

All of us invest so much into this sport, especially for how little it is recognized and it only seems to matter to the world once every 4 years.  Many of my teammates are living financially tight, me included.  We’re all capable of winning one of these World Cup events.  It’s crazy to think you have to be perfect on any given day to do so, and one quick lapse in focus can take away your chance to win.  We all travel to the venue 2 to 3 days prior to the event, do about 5 hours of total official training, and then take a 22 second competition run.  One shot to get it all right.  Otherwise, you go home disappointed.  It’s common to spend about $3,000 on each of these trips, just to have twenty-something seconds to prove why you’re the best in the world.

After I got back to my room from the Lake Placid event, we got news that Sarah Burke had passed away from her accident.  She had invested so much of her life into the sport of skiing and become an icon for Women’s skiing, even Women’s athletics.  It was easy to see how much this shook the skiing world with all the support from the entire community.  Condolences to her husband, family, friends, and many, many fans.

It’s tough to hear about these accidents.  Especially as a fellow athlete knowing what these other great athletes go through to get to the level they are at.  Jake Hickman, a young mogul skier from the Tahoe area, had a great week at US Selections.  Selections are one of the most important events in the season if you are not already on World Cup.  It gives an opportunity to the best 60+ skiers that are not already on World Cup, to earn starts on World Cup and prove their case to be one of the best in the world.  Jake just missed getting these starts.  The next day, he fractured his T8 and T9 vertebrae.  He was on top of the world one day, and was almost paralyzed the next.  I am glad to say that he has been getting after it in rehab, and is now home after a month hospital stays and rehab.  Sad seeing and hearing about events like this.

I hate to end this blog entry on a sad note.  No matter how much this sport can bring me down, I will never take it for granted.  I never want to be questioned over how much heart, passion, and focus that I ski with.  ’Til next time…

-Sho

Anyway, I daydream and think to myself during long-ish car rides.. especially because my girlfriend, Audrey, was sleeping.  I was wondering if 2011 was a success or failure for me.  My first reaction was that it was a definite failure.  I had the worst ski season of my career, hopefully that was my rock bottom.  The poor season created a domino effect with my financial security taking the biggest hit.  I lost my funding through the US Ski Team.  I was dropped from the Elite Athlete Health Insurance.  I moved 4 different times from June-November.  I currently have no “home” because I couldn’t afford rent.  All my belongings are in a storage space in Park City, UT.  For the first time in 2 years, I was back in the work force work a part-time job during my training periods.  I was too poor to attend any of our team’s summer/fall on-snow camps.  I was truly living like a bum.  Living week-to-week was a struggle.  

On the other hand, 2011 was a great learning experience for me.  I’ve never been so stressed out in my life, but I held it together.  I had been slapped with real life, right in the dick.  I look back and I’m glad I didn’t cave in.  I had plenty of help to keep persisting.

First off, my family was incredible.  Even though it’s a small family, there’s lots of love.  They never expect me to quit for any reason.  Their generosity and support kept me up right when I was ready to give up.  One example is my mom had my brother drive out to Utah in October just so she could buy my LoveSac from me.  They are always there when I need them most.  Me being homeless this winter may be a blessing in disguise.  I will be treating Tahoe as my home base when we don’t have training or competitions.  I will be able to see them more than usual, and I’m excited about that.

My girlfriend, Audrey deserves a lot of credit.  She helps me even when she has no idea she is.  She keeps me level headed, always has the right things to say, and reminds me what is really important in the world.  Our relationship has blossomed, even though my financial situation hasn’t.  I’m grateful that she is not impressed by material things and she likes me for who I am.   

Also, my teammates were very inspiring.  One in particular, Dave DiGravio.  He was in the exact same situation I was in.  We both had to move around quite a bit during the late summer-fall to save as much as we could for the season.  He is incredibly selfless, helping me find a place to stay in November.  He also came up with a brilliant idea of selling our junk on eBay (which helped both of us survive in November).  In addition, Dave’s work ethic is impeccable.  He is a great workout partner and I credit him for helping me be in the shape I’m in right now.  Also, another great gym partner is Joe Discoe, one of the strongest guys on the team.  I mention these guys because they were there everyday that I was there and we were on the same program.  I am not taking shots at anyone else on the team.  They either do not live full-time in Park City, or they are not on the same program.  

Also, I received a lot of support from employers.  I’ve worked a number of years with two programs in the summer:  Mogul Logic Ski Camp in Whistler, BC; and CVA Trampoline and Skate Camp in Maine.  They employ me every year and I get to teach people how to do what I love to do.  It’s a great opportunity for me and I can’t thank them enough.  I’d also like to thank PowerAde for employing me part-time during the summer.  

Sponsors are big help, all of them are listed under the “sponsors” tab on this page.  One sponsor in particular, Heavenly, has been an incredible supporter.  They invested in my heavily up to the 2010 season in hopes that I would have a good result in Vancouver.  I disappointed them by getting injured a month prior to the games, and I am very lucky they stuck with me.  Sponsors aren’t too happy when you have a shitty season and get them no media coverage.  I just hope to vindicate them for sticking with me.

If you’re reading this, you deserve a big thank you.  I have an amazing fanbase.  You have come together to help me countless times, and you don’t realize most of them.  There were plenty of times in the offseason I wanted to throw the athletic career away and get back into college or the workforce.  You have all kept me in this game and I can’t thank you enough.  I love when you guys congratulate me on a good result and I hate breaking bad news to you like I did almost every week last season.  I am extremely fortunate to have such great fans, probably the best in freestyle.

2011 wasn’t a complete failure when I account for everything.  I learned how to scramble and survive.  The most important lesson I learned is that when you focus and believe in the right things, it can be an incredible weapon for you.  During the summer and fall when I couldn’t attend our important pre-season snow camps, my focus and work ethic was right where it needed to be.  This has made me into a stronger person and competitor.  

I can’t forget that my 2011 ended with some successes.  I got my first podium of my career with a 2nd place in Ruka.  A week later, I got the second podium of my career finishing 3rd in Meribel.  I’m currently ranked 2nd in the World in my sport.  I got to spend Christmas with my family in Tahoe and New Year’s with Audrey and her family.  I’m hoping that all of the lessons I’ve learned from my failures will avenge the (mostly) awful 2011 I had.